Famous Losercorns Throughout History

Retarded Losercorns, Now and Then:

Britney Spears: Pop princess shaves head after failing to record a hit single for a few months. Waaahhhh.

A policeman’s ex-convict wife in Cleveland: Let’s get drunk and take mom joyriding in hubby’s squad car. He won’t care! Charges as follows: grand theft auto, DUI, driving under a suspended license, illegal posession of a firearm, impersonating a police officer, costing husband his job of 15 years on the force. LOSER!!

Adolph Hitler: DUH!

Ted Bundy: Attractive, friendly guy tricks and murders sorority girls for fun on weekends. Ok, even if THEY were retarded losercorns too, they probably didn’t deserve that.

Saddam Hussein: DUH, part 2.

The People who Created Teletubbies: Hmm…creepy large plush aliens who live in a house that tells them what to do and forces them to eat pink custard while cross-dressing (in Tinky-Winky’s case anyway, though he seems to like it). ICK!

Crossover Losercorn: Bill Gates. Ok, massively rich and owns half the world, essentially holding a monopoly on computer OS’s, which forces people to buy his products, not too cool. BUT, loser dweeb in highschool, now laughing his head off at popular crowd who shunned him then because hey….massively rich and owns half the world.


Helen Keller: blind deaf girl who can’t even feed or dress herself becomes spokesperson for disabled people everywhere, inspiring play and movie about her life. Go Helen.

Horton the Elephant: They were SO mean to him, and even threatened to boil him in oil, but he stuck to his principles and saved an entire civilization.

Jesus: People hated him, persecuted him, and finally murdered him. He just kept teaching about love and forgiveness. Plus that whole, saving the world thing.

Sacagawea: Kidnapped at the age of 12, sold into slavery to rival Indian tribe, she was a nobody. Property. She went on to be hired as a guide and translator for the Lewis and Clark expedition, carrying her newborn baby on her back the whole way, kept them from getting lost or killed by Indians, did all the cooking, foraged for food, mended all the clothes, washed everything, and saved all the expedition’s records and instruments from being lost in a storm.

Stay tuned for more Famous Losercorns Throughout History!

– The Losercorns


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