Here are some amazing ways to get kicked out of Wal-mart!


 Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment

Go up to some old geezer & say “Grandpa!!! You’re ALIVE!!! It’s a MIRACLE!!!” etc.

Take something from someone else’s cart, when they say “hey, that’s mine! ” call the security and say that the other  person was trying to take your _____

Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.

Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell “AIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!”
Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell “THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!”
Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, “COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!”
Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell “PICK ME”
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
 Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men
 Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them
Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice
 Randomly place 24 bags of candy in peoples carts
Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
Go up to an employee and in a official tone say “code three in house ware” and see what happens
 Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap
Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
 Open a pack of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a “d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!”
 While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation
 Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, “I know where you live…”
 Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool…
 Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it
 Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you’re doing, just say “I changed my mind.”
 Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin’ USA theme song
 Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”
 If an employee comes within 30 ft scream “GET AWAY FROM ME!!!” Then run out of the store screaming
Walk up to an employee and ask questions like, how come this store is called wal mart? what’s up with your hair? Why
do you people wear name tags, can’t you all remember your own names?
Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles
 Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you’re going to bite them
Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady’s face and watch her freak out  
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible.   
 While no one’s watching, quickly switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest room
Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply “He’s going to help me pick out his favorite dog food”
TP as much of the store as possible
 Whenever you hear a voice over the loud spaeker, fall to the ground sobbing and screaming, “the voices!!” then get back up & act normal
 Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say “The rooster is in the nest” Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper “use this wisely.”  


 Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke
 Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one… I know I know… hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off
 Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day
 Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department

 Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom

 Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, “We love bagels! We love bagels!” 

Over the intercom say there is a big sale on all items in electronics department and first 10 people to the check outs gets one item free… & see what happens

 Randomly start putting different size undergarments in peoples carts

 Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners

 Run through the store and jump on random peoples carts singing I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!

 Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras

 Get a marker & go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items… the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand

 Go up to some of the customers while your carrying a paper bag and say “trick or treat!” and if they don’t give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face

 Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by

Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good Bessie.”

 Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say “Phew, That’s better”

 Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, “A clue a clue!”

 Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters

 While Humming the theme to Mission Impossible, wearing all black, and doing exaggerated spy moves, knock over a fancy display

 Take all the CD’s put them in the wrong place and when an employee puts them all back yell at her and mess them up again

 Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing

 Run through the make-up department and yell, “There’s a dead body in aisle 3!!!”

 Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head

 Dress up in a fairy costume, and climb up a ladder and when people go by say “your wish is granted”

 Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell “ROLLBACK!!!”

 Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say… sir or madam… don’t think that.

 Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, “Shut up in there.”

 Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, “She’s horrible at giving make-overs!” and point to a random woman.

 Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song

 Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store

 Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kids aisle, and pretend to be dead

 Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away and when someone tries to pick it up run up to them and yell hands off my dollar!! Then got to a manager and tell him that they stole 20 dollars from you

 Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles

 Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, “Yup, that stuff’s not poisonous.”

 Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down. (The numbers 01134)

 Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham

 Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags

 Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle

 Swing on the half price banners

 Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask what and walk off like you’re annoyed

 Burp and say mmmm, tasty

 Hold Barbie for ransom

 Run around with a country music cd and sing Queen’s “We Will Rock You”

 throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone’s cart

 Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you’re talking to her by saying “Let’s bust this joint!”

 Wrap a hose around you and shout, “AAH! I’M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!”

 Do your own radio show over the intercom

 Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff and hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say “Luke, I am your father” and make breathing noises in your darth vader mask

 Glue pennies on the floor ‘heads’ side up

 Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming ‘EARTHQUAKE! EVERYONE RUN!
 find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with your self when everyone is watching you

 Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices

 Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over

 Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund

 get a cardboard box, go in the store and pop out of the box and give out candy to passerby

 Find the fish section and when someone walks by begin to pet the fish tank and say, “I know how you feel…”

 Spill water on the floor, and run around claiming that the store is flooded

 As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say “BEEP” in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items

 Scream really loudly and when someone tells you to be quiet scream, “I will not be silenced!!!!”

 Hold a bag of frozen veggies over your head and yell “Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!!”

 Hug someone randomly and say, “I love u mommy!”

 Go in the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit

 Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming “HELP! IT’S AFTER ME!”

 Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around

 Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk “Mommy, guess what? I’m a big kid now!!”

 Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend ur having a nightmare about cookies and yell ” COOKIE!! COOKIE!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!” Then start rolling around





 Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man.” to people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.

 Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don’t know you.

 Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.

 Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your friend.

 Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.

When your alone, have loud conversations with your “multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents.

 Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just flail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.

 Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

 Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

 Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized

 Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get paid enough to do this”

 Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.

 Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

 Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up.

Put women’s clothes into men’s carts.

 Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men’s carts when they aren’t looking.

 Run around in front of a mirror screaming “COPYCAT!”

 Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say “WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!”

 Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don’t have it, start crying and scream, “Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!?”
Lay on the floor and do a ground angel

 Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell ‘HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!!!!”

 Make sure somebody’s in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say “AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!” Until someone asks if you’re alright. When they do, get up and say, “Yes, I’m fine, why?” And then walk away calmly like nothing happened.

 Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people

 Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”

 Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can’t see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling “Hey, I’m Using the Bathroom in here!!!”

 Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans!

 When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, “God has spoken!!!”

 Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker!

 Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, “Shh, this is my favorite show!”

 Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead.

 Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in.

 Poke people and run away screaming, “Don’t touch me!!!”

 Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily

 Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan.

 Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend.

 Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, “I love you!”

 Walk around in a court jester costume

 Get on the intercom and calmly say, “Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there’s a sale on isle two.”

 Claim isle three as your ‘Secret Lair’

 Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can.
 Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, “How much is that?”

 Chew gum loudly in people’s faces

Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, “PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!”

 Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes.

 Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, “What a rip off!” And walk out of the store.

 Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it’s your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years.

 Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short.

 Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, “I’ll have that one. And that one. And that one…” Keep going until you’ve pointed to every fish they have in stock.

 Tap dance through the store

 Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically)
 Scream “SECURITY!” as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say “Oh my gosh this is really important!” Then smile and say, “Hi.”

 Sing “Mary Had A Little Lamb” as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say “Well, it’s the music section so I thought you might like some live music.” Then sing it again.

 Go to the bakery section and yell “I LOVE PIE!” to everyone you see.

 Scream, “GET OUT OF MY YARD!” to everyone who walks by you.
 Announce that there’s a huge sale at Target

 Go to the in store restaurant and order anything. When receiving it tell them that this was not what you wanted. Refuse to pay and go tell the manager

 Hide in a pile of plushies and then jump out at people who walk by

 Act like an old lady and scream, “AH! I broke my back! This wouldn’t happen at Target!”

 Pretend to be a life size Barbie. When someone wants to buy you, run away screaming that someone was trying to kidnap you.

 Follow one person around the store. Poke them ever so often. When they ask what you’re doing, scream, “STALKER!!”

 Pretend like you’re a person who works there and walk around saying, “Can I help you find anything?”

 Pick up a random stuffed animal, go up to random people and ask, “Will you help me find some cat food for Fluffy?”

 Run around with a bowl of cheerios yelling, “It lowered my cholesterol!”

 Order a pizza from the cashier

 Ask to have your pizza shaken, not stirred

 Throw a dance party

 Lie on the floor. Just lie there. It is guaranteed to freak people out. Either pretend to be asleep, or to have passed out.

 Take toys and put them on the floor and take a cart. Start running over the toys screaming, “Monster Truck Mania!!!”

 Climb up the shelves/storage units, then refuse to come down.

 Stand on the conveyer belt when your checking out and walk like its a treadmill… then ask for a speed increase

 Wrap yourself in toilet paper rolls and pretend to be a mummy 

 Follow a stranger around and mimic them. Continue doing this for a long period of time.

 Run around in circles and yell, “I’M THE CIRCLE MAN!”

 Announce a sock-sliding contest and take off your shoes and start sliding. It’s actually really fun…

 Go up to a employee ask for a application and where it says goals write down ‘to take over Wal-Mart’ and turn it in

 Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas

 Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal Mart a Make Over.

 Go to the dairy section and protest against milking cows. Say things like, “What if the cows aren’t ok with us milking them? Cows have rights too!”

 Go up to the manager and ask where the nearest K-Mart is.

 Run around the store screaming, “OMG! HELP! PINTO BEANS ARE TAKING OVER COSTCO! AHHH!”

 In Walmart, they give out free stickers. Take them and decorate your body with them

 Stare at a customer for a long time while saying, “Hi! Hi! Hi!” nonstop until they get really mad

Melt chocolate, then scream, “Free face masks!”

 Put a lot of matches and gasoline in your cart, then smile at people

Start following a worker all around the store, when they start to ask if you need help, inturrupt and scream at the top of your lungs, “DR. OCTAGONAPUS BLAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”


Woo hoo!

We’re gonna have some fun…

-The Losercorns


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