Confession of a convicted villain (of sorts)

Um, so, I guess this is plea bargaining, huh?

Instead of doing community service or whatever, they make me confess on some random weblog. Whoop-de-doo.

Sooo…..

First things first, I suppose.

I’m INNOCENT!!!!

Whew, glad I got THAT off my chest.

So, um, er….

Sometimes you wonder if your job choice was good for you. Law, corporate banking, radiology… um… I’m a used book salesman. Name? Why do you need my name, you little- er… video cameras, right… Well, my name is, um, I guess, Fred. What do you mean, “how do you spell it?” What do you take me for, some lousy- um, I mean, errrrrrgh… Phreadd. Yeah. Phreadd. P-H-R-E-A-D-D.

So, you want to get my opinion on the stock market? OK… Well, If you invest in Pepsi, the stock should be going up… in … about 12.77 days. Yeah. I have a timer right here…

Fraud? Who, me?

Time’s up? What? We just got started! What are you talking about, Sing Sing maximum security prison? Where’s my diamond cutter? Aiiiiieeeeeee……….






From the Losercorns-

Sorry about that little “incident”. Security started to get a little antsy after our little kleptomaniacal guest started running a loop of “The Office” on the security cameras and sent an email for “Free Tigers!!!” to everybody on the  email grid.

Don’t worry, nobody will know this happened. Nobody. The hit team should be at your house at six. Just wanted to give you all time to write your will.

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