Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

An Ode to the Color White
May 14, 2013

So I was mulling things over, and you know what?

I think that the color ‘starch white’ is a vastly under-appreciated color.

No, really. Think about it! When do you see the color white? If you said ‘EVERY DAY’ (capital letters and all), then congratulations! You got the correct answer!

Think about it some more. I’ll give you a moment.

Not convinced yet? Well, let me give you a list of things that are white that you are likely to use every day:

Paper (Duh!)

Lots of Clothes

Vanilla Icecream

The Background of this Blog (As of Now)

Sour Cream

Marshmallows

Togas

My Math Tutor’s Hair

Polar Bears (Which are brilliant!)

Ghosts (…Which is, to be fair, debatable…)

… Okay, so some of those aren’t things we use everyday… but they are still awesome!

So, the next time you question that white crayon in the crayon box and wonder what it could have possibly been made fore, consider all of the awesome-ness that White has to offer! (And goodness, use a piece of black paper, will you?)

The Diary of Nine Wimpy Kids
May 13, 2013

Hey. We’re back. Again. *Jazz Hands* 

So, it’s been a while…

How’ve you been?

How about that Duck Dynasty?

Twitter?

The Harlem Shake?

#SWAG?

All of that stuff that happened during the eons since our last post?

Yeah. We won’t be doing any of that stuff here. Don’t worry. Same, weird, old, fabulous us.

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..

..

.

It has come to our attention that we have posted nearly everything about Losercorn culture, society, and humor, as a whole, but never once have we dared brush the dust off the cover of the massive expanse of illustrious text that is our history.

So. Let’s start.

Many moons ago, in a forest at the bottom of the ocean, there resided a sea cucumber by the name of Barb. She lived all alone, with only her ratty overalls, hot chocolate, and musk-ls to keep her company.

One day, she came across a tribe of wandering young seahorses grazing on her lawn. “Get off my lawn, you crazy fillies!” She said. She was determined to teach them the proper ways of society and end their hooligan nature, so she announced herself as their music teacher. 

“Perfect Practice Makes Perfect Performance,” she would say, as she made them rue the day that they were born.

They did practice, but not perfectly, because that’s unrealistic.

The poor sea cucumber did not realize this, however, and she drilled onward with her iron fronds. Finally, the young seahorses had had enough. Barb realized that her hold over them was slipping, and she began to take desperate measures to maintain her control.

During one of the torturous dances that she forced them to perform, they recognized the pure ridiculousness of her choreography. They began to giggle. They reared their manes in joy and watched as bubbles of air fled their mouths and escaped to the surface of the sea.

Barb couldn’t understand why they were laughing — no one could. And it didn’t matter, because they were happy.

A soft, white light enveloped the young seahorses. It vanished, leaving them transformed. Their manes flowed with every color of the rainbow, and their scales shined in a beautiful shade of shockeldiff. On each of their foreheads, there rested a glittering horn in the shape of an “L”.

Author’s Note: Some historians have compared this unique marking to the “Loser” symbol made with the hand of a Suckish Losercorn.

The young seahorses took this knowledge with a grain of sea salt, and they began calling themselves the “Losercorns”. 

The Losercorns officially leveled up, and gained the skill: [[Humor]]. It cost them [[Three Character Points]], but it was worth it. They used this skill, the only one that they had, to defeat the mundane creatures of Earth, Water, Wind, and Fire.

Through their endeavors, they began to see that the world was a much brighter place than they had initially realized. They learned that even though there will always be Suckish Losercorns and Sea Cucumbers Named Barb and lots of other terrible things out there, they don’t have to control you. 

As you may have noticed, this text seems to be written in a vibrant, yet shadowy red. This is no coincidence — yes, the entire book was written in the blood of our ancestors. Don’t worry, we obtained it only after they were dead.

With that, we leave you with this stupid quote, straight from our editing tomb: 

“That’s too orange!”

“Your mom’s too orange!”

“Jersey Shore is too orange!”

-The Losercorns

Stupid quote
November 8, 2011

This happened today. While I was doing homework. This was a conversation between two fellow losercorns.

“how do you draw an owl??”
“HOOT HOOT!!”

– The Losercorns

Halloween
November 1, 2011

Hi. Did you have a good Halloween??? WE DID!! Wootzle. Halloween is nice. Do you know the origin of Halloween?? Too bad. I know and I’m not sharing so belch. but still heh… Free candy…from strangers. Yay!!!!! So what did YOU dress up as?? In our group we had
Betlejuice and Lydia
The 10th Doctor
Rainbow dash
Pinky pie
Dr. Octagonapus BLAH
a kid in a hat
An old lady
Some old time killer chick
An anime character (x2)
Miku (another anime character)
Artemis (Greek goddess)
And maybe something else but I think that’s it.
WHAT DID YOU DO!??!???!!???
tell us
Now
Or we will kill you
And you will die a horrible cheese related death

-The (sugar high) Losercorns

We are back woot!!!!!!
October 31, 2011

Hello!!!! Did you miss us!!!??? I’m glad. Ok so basically this post is for 3 things.

1- WE ARE BACK WOOHOO!!!

2- there are some other things you need to go check out. The losercorns YouTube. It’s just losercorns. Yep. Creative. 2 losercorns personal tumblr blogs. (if you have a tumblr please follow them. If not…go look) mydniteshadow.tumblr.com that one is mostly a Harry potter, joss wheadon, and Disney blog. With nice randomness of course. Flamingoesandmustardbothbite.tumblr.com that is mostly Harry potter, Tim Burton, and Disney. The powers that be command you to go look!!!!!

3- I like chocolate milk.

magical harry potter song! (phew! it’s about time this thing got on the web….)
August 3, 2010

well, if you refer to one of our first posts, you will find that the losercorns are poets as well as uncontrolable spazes! and now, we are song writers too!

this song is related to harry potter in many ways. so if you dont like harry potter, this will not make any sense to you what-so-ever.

7

it’s the most magically powerfull number

yes it is

it’s the most magically powerfull number.

because 7 times 7 is 47

and 49 times 7 is something

and that something times sommething else is a number that i dont care to calculate

7

it’s the most magically powerfull number

yes it is

it’s the most magically powerfull number.

there are 7 weasly kids

and 7 players on a quidditch team

and 7 years at hogwarts wow what a coincedence!

7

it’s the most magically powerfull number

yes it is

it’s the most magically powerfull number
TADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you liked it!

Confession of a convicted villain (of sorts)
August 1, 2010

Um, so, I guess this is plea bargaining, huh?

Instead of doing community service or whatever, they make me confess on some random weblog. Whoop-de-doo.

Sooo…..

First things first, I suppose.

I’m INNOCENT!!!!

Whew, glad I got THAT off my chest.

So, um, er….

Sometimes you wonder if your job choice was good for you. Law, corporate banking, radiology… um… I’m a used book salesman. Name? Why do you need my name, you little- er… video cameras, right… Well, my name is, um, I guess, Fred. What do you mean, “how do you spell it?” What do you take me for, some lousy- um, I mean, errrrrrgh… Phreadd. Yeah. Phreadd. P-H-R-E-A-D-D.

So, you want to get my opinion on the stock market? OK… Well, If you invest in Pepsi, the stock should be going up… in … about 12.77 days. Yeah. I have a timer right here…

Fraud? Who, me?

Time’s up? What? We just got started! What are you talking about, Sing Sing maximum security prison? Where’s my diamond cutter? Aiiiiieeeeeee……….






From the Losercorns-

Sorry about that little “incident”. Security started to get a little antsy after our little kleptomaniacal guest started running a loop of “The Office” on the security cameras and sent an email for “Free Tigers!!!” to everybody on the  email grid.

Don’t worry, nobody will know this happened. Nobody. The hit team should be at your house at six. Just wanted to give you all time to write your will.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 1, 2010

*bleep bloop*…*whackwhackwhack* … Why won’t this EvilTron3141592600000 stop processing our blog phrases into delightfully fiendish expulsions with references to past vivisections?

Um….. that’s not what I meant.

So, anyway, curiousity seeps into our puny, useless cerebral nodes (if you can call them that), and we—–

Whoah whoah whoah… Ok, that is waaaaaaay out of line. Really. Nobody calls anybody here a cereal noodle if we can help it.

This is obviously a job for……….

um………

where are you?……..

This is not good. That and the fact that the ice cream truck is late can only mean one thing……

LLAMAS NO LONGER EXSIST!!!! THE HORROR!

Woooaaaaahhh… that was a pipe dream.

Eheheh…

Hey, the EvilTron stopped working, useless scummy cretin that it is.

Er….

This post is just waaaaay out there.

Well, what we wanted to say was that the word Earth is a very strange word. I mean, look at the letter E. E. It’s a line with three little lines. What is that all about? E. Looks kinda like a caterpillar or something.

Ah, well…

Back to another day of destroying the world’s happiness, one smile at a time!

Um.

Er.

Yeah.

Did you know first impressions are made up of only 10% of what you actually say?

Flip Flops
July 24, 2010

We really don’t like Flip Flops!
Ok… yes they are ok…
BUT!!!!!!
You can get hurt easily and when you try to decorate them no glue works!!! (except super glue because it is magicly magifullllllll!!![but who wants to go through that mess!])

So there is a solution!!!
All you have to do is click here:
CLICK!!!
Oh… Sorry it doesn’t seem to be working… uhh… this is embarrassing…
Oh well… I guess you could just go out and by Crocks? *sigh*

Why are you still here?
I will know attempt to spell flip flops with my nose:
ropi9p- rolpw
FAIL!!!
now I will attempt it again except with my lips:
flip flopsw
Not bad…
now chin:
c,jl cf,kjlzs
EPIC FAIL!
now toes:
flip flop[s
Not Bad!!
ok… well…
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~this message was not made to offend any flip flop lovers.~

Despicable Us
July 11, 2010

Hello! This post is about the movie “Despicable Me”.

Don’t worry if you haven’t seen it yet, we won’t give away any major plot points.

Firstly, we at Losercorns give this movie a 9.9/10. Our only problem was the “kid” humor that just doesn’t quite click unless you’re five.

The main character’s name is Gru. We will not go into details. Gru is awesome. Do not insult Gru. Ever. Or will will eat your cookies.

The movie is really funny, especially with the “older” humor that Disney/Pixar is known for. This movie is Dreamworks, but it has the same charm. Our only problem with this is that we are afraid that they will milk the movie into sequels like they did with Shrek. It basically can ruin the franchise.

We don’t think they will, though. The ending was very… um… ending-y.

As we said, the main character is Gru. He is played by Steve Carell. If you don’t know who that is, you might know Steve Carell from The Office. He plays Michael Scott. He is also a huge comedy person.

The primary antagonist is named Vector. He is a nerd. In a bad way, we’re afraid. He is voiced by Jason Segel (pronounced SEE-jill) You may have heard him before, but a lot of people can’t recognize him very well.

Gru’s mother is played by Julie Andrews. Before we go any further, Julie Andrews was Mary Poppins. And in the Sound Of Music. She is a NICE person. Gru’s mother is NOT a nice person.

Actually, almost everyone in this movie is pretty despicable, admittedly at varying levels. Almost. Except for three.

Anyhoo, although our favorite character is Gru, the minions come pretty close. They provide extensive comic relief. They also have a unique little language, which actually combines multiple different real languages. This is proven if you listen very carefully and if you speak a little bit of a few languages. For example, there is some English, a little Spanish, French, and probably loads of other languages. (By the way, stay in the theater for almost all of the credits. It is important.)

The last thing we want to say is a slight spoiler, and we recommend reading this after you see the movie. It will make more sense. You can read it, but we earnestly say, we quote, “PLZ PLZ PLZ NEVR EVR NOT YET!!!” The stuff below this paragraph is not a spoiler, but it will still make more sense later. What we want to say is this— Do you remember in the credits that the one minion was making hand puppets? Remember how Gru came up and the minion made a matching puppet and left? OK, remember how Gru chuckled a bit? Let us say this. That was a Number one evil villain chuckle. That was not a Horace the Clown chuckle. Let’s all remember that Gru is still very evil. But evil is fun, right? Tell me you might have once wanted to hug Malfoy, or Darth Vader, or someone else. Evil people have more fun because they have to pack it into those short little evil lives. Evil is NOT a bad thing. Um… At least in this case…

By the way, we did have an extensive summary of the movie, but it was accidentally maliciously destroyed.

And this pyramid is still for sale. 5 dollars, anyone?

NOT: Any similarity in this post to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.