Despicable Us

July 11, 2010 - Leave a Response

Hello! This post is about the movie “Despicable Me”.

Don’t worry if you haven’t seen it yet, we won’t give away any major plot points.

Firstly, we at Losercorns give this movie a 9.9/10. Our only problem was the “kid” humor that just doesn’t quite click unless you’re five.

The main character’s name is Gru. We will not go into details. Gru is awesome. Do not insult Gru. Ever. Or will will eat your cookies.

The movie is really funny, especially with the “older” humor that Disney/Pixar is known for. This movie is Dreamworks, but it has the same charm. Our only problem with this is that we are afraid that they will milk the movie into sequels like they did with Shrek. It basically can ruin the franchise.

We don’t think they will, though. The ending was very… um… ending-y.

As we said, the main character is Gru. He is played by Steve Carell. If you don’t know who that is, you might know Steve Carell from The Office. He plays Michael Scott. He is also a huge comedy person.

The primary antagonist is named Vector. He is a nerd. In a bad way, we’re afraid. He is voiced by Jason Segel (pronounced SEE-jill) You may have heard him before, but a lot of people can’t recognize him very well.

Gru’s mother is played by Julie Andrews. Before we go any further, Julie Andrews was Mary Poppins. And in the Sound Of Music. She is a NICE person. Gru’s mother is NOT a nice person.

Actually, almost everyone in this movie is pretty despicable, admittedly at varying levels. Almost. Except for three.

Anyhoo, although our favorite character is Gru, the minions come pretty close. They provide extensive comic relief. They also have a unique little language, which actually combines multiple different real languages. This is proven if you listen very carefully and if you speak a little bit of a few languages. For example, there is some English, a little Spanish, French, and probably loads of other languages. (By the way, stay in the theater for almost all of the credits. It is important.)

The last thing we want to say is a slight spoiler, and we recommend reading this after you see the movie. It will make more sense. You can read it, but we earnestly say, we quote, “PLZ PLZ PLZ NEVR EVR NOT YET!!!” The stuff below this paragraph is not a spoiler, but it will still make more sense later. What we want to say is this— Do you remember in the credits that the one minion was making hand puppets? Remember how Gru came up and the minion made a matching puppet and left? OK, remember how Gru chuckled a bit? Let us say this. That was a Number one evil villain chuckle. That was not a Horace the Clown chuckle. Let’s all remember that Gru is still very evil. But evil is fun, right? Tell me you might have once wanted to hug Malfoy, or Darth Vader, or someone else. Evil people have more fun because they have to pack it into those short little evil lives. Evil is NOT a bad thing. Um… At least in this case…

By the way, we did have an extensive summary of the movie, but it was accidentally maliciously destroyed.

And this pyramid is still for sale. 5 dollars, anyone?

NOT: Any similarity in this post to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Follow……….

July 3, 2010 - Leave a Response

Welcome to the most awesome thing to do EVER!!!!

All you have to do is follow the llamas

all
along
down
the
post

Until you finish!

y
A
y

llama

llama

llama llama

llama
llama

llama
llama

llama llama

VOLCANO A-SPLODES!!!

dead

dead
dead dead
dead

why are you

still looking for llamas?

there are none
they all

DIED

They blame you

It’s all your fault

LLAMA KILLER

why are you stil here

you are shameful

You are

a

nonbeliever Shuuuuuuuuun….

harry potter hates your guts

i think you are voldemort in disguise

the llamas still feel depressed

Look at these pies…

pie

pie pie

pie pie pie

pie

they are sooo

YUMMY

they beckon to you

FILLINGS!!!

cherry

apple

pum- OH WAIT THE LLAMAS CAN’T EAT THEM BECAUSE

THEY’RE DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!

they still hate you.

We hope

that
you are

happy…..

woah, look at this

opal necklace

it is so pretty

how about you wear it?

so pretttyy…

what do mean?

” remember Katie Bell “…

alright then.

here are two awesome quotes

two guys are watching baseball when

one guy

says

“what’s the point of

quidditch

if the snitch
is worth

150

points?

why

bother with the Quaffle?”

another one is

“my favorite
app

is the one

right before the

entree”

bloop bloop!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok this is the end…

If you can read this then you are MaGiCaL and the llamas all come back to life!!!!!!! they also all turn you into a magical llama with the power to turn everything else into either a llama or pie!

 

 

there is a magical magical secret in this post… FIND IT OR FACE THE LLAMAS OF FURY!

 

not furry, fury.  ok, they can be furry too…

 

THE LLAMAS OF FURRY FURY!!!!

Happy Doughnut Day!

June 4, 2010 - Leave a Response

The title says it all, today is possibly THE BEST day in the whole year. Ever.

DONUT! DOUGHNUT! WHATEVER!

In order to further expand your donuttiness today, go out and buy a case from your local donut vendor. Better yet, DIY donuts! Yay!

Here’s a fun poll to find exactly which donuts are the best! You can choose more than one answer if you want.

Yay!

In honor of this happy, happy day, here are some donuts that will make your eyes fall out!

GLaZe!

Homer Simpson would be proud.

Donut a la baconburger!

Yaaaaay!!!!

A summary of 2010 so far

June 3, 2010 - 3 Responses

Here are some of the top things that happened or are supposed to happen in 2010. Not in any order, mind.

~Balloon Boy: A guy convinces his kid to fly away in a balloon. This all happened for the media. FAIL
~Puppet Museum UPDATE: They added Jim Henson stuff to the puppet museum! EPIC WIN!
~Obama’s State of the Union speech: Blah, Blah, Blah, now we are going to TOTALLY give up what we were just doing and try something totally different! Yaaaay! FAIL!!!
~Harry Potter theme Park will open: One word sums it up- Butterbeer. EPIC WIN!
~BP fixes the oil spilly thingy: Not on your life are they actually gonna do this on their own. EPIC FAIL!!!
~3D Tvs are coming out: This is no lie, we had a bet going in 2005 that 3D TV would come about commercially in 2010! SCORE! EPIC WIN!
~Prince of Persia movie will come out: Who snuck this one in? DECISION RESERVED UNTIL WE SEE THIS MOVIE FOR OURSELVES
~ Whooping cranes are slightly less endangered: Need we say more? EPIC WIN!
~Losercorns readership went up: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! This is by far the biggest event yet! EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC WIN!!!!!!!!!!

why are you still here?

Go away.

Now.

Bad woofle.

Nya Nya Nya Nya (Maneki Neko)

June 3, 2010 - Leave a Response

Welcome to the wonderful world of Maneki Neko, or lucky cats! Today we will all learn how to converse with one of the most epic Japanese things ever, including Godzilla and his entourage.

Here is a conversation sample that will teach you all you need to know:

Fred Neko (Fred the cat)- Nya Nya Nya, Nya Nya Nya, Nya Nya, Nya?
Trasnlation- Why are you hiding that bilingual salmon in your hair?

A Losercorn- Nya Nya Nya, Nya Nya Nya Nya, Nya.
Translation- I don’t know, but you can’t have it because you don’t have any mustard.

Fred Neko- Nya Nya Nya? Nya, Nya Nya Nya Nya, Nya Nya!
Translation- What are you talking about? I have a whole mustard mine right here!

A Losercorn- NNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Translation- OMG it’s canary!

Hopefully this has helped you fully comprehend the language of the Japanese lucky cat.

Until later, Nya, nya nya, nya.

a;sldkfjawoeij;alksdjf dg sdf sdfsmmlmmmmmrrrrffffff!!!!!!!!

May 3, 2010 - Leave a Response

hello! a;sldkjasdf;lkjsa we are experiencing technical doffoculties!d;asxkdhjf dufghhsdhjhfdjhg

No, we are not. Someone let our intern type.

CARL!!! I THOUGHT WE DISCUSSED THIS!!!

While I go scream at Carl… please enjoy this pre-taped video of…

wait… what?

This isn’t a webshow?

Well this is a waste of my time…

CARL!!!! HOW DO YOU TURN THIS THING OFF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Well this is embarrasing….

Bye!!

-The losercorns

The Loserversary!!

May 3, 2010 - 2 Responses

Today is the Loserversary!!!! Hoorayy!!! That means that it has been one whole year since we started the Losercorns’ blog! Wootzle~!

To celebrate and show you how far we have come since, well, last year, here is a re-post of the first-ever thing on the blog!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Losercorns
First of all, we are the losercorns.

And before we confuse you anymore, let us explain.

There are two types of losercorns.

The ‘Awesome Losercorn’ and the ‘Suckish Losercorn.’

We, obviously, are awesome losercorns.

Awesome losercorns are random, weird, like to stand out, and don’t care what anyone else thinks.

We are outcasts.

We are awesome.

When you don’t have any other clique to go to…

You end up with us.

The bad thing about being an awesome losercorn is having to completely give up on all popularity and let your reputation plummet.

Some of the many good things about being an awesome losercorn are…

That you can do whatever you want…

So go ahead,

Throw moldy bananas at people that you don’t like,

Use your spoon as a catapult to shoot corn across the room,

Cough up yeast rolls,

And wear orange underwear on your head!

Being an awesome losercorn means that you do whatever you feel like doing!

Be stupid!

Be annoying!

Be yourself!

Awesome losercorns live for the moment, and have fun!

Being an awesome losercorn is being who you are and not caring what anyone thinks!

Suckish Losercorns…

Split into two categories,

The Idiot

And The Popular.

The Idiot is pretty self-explanatory.

If you ever find yourself:

Snorting when you laugh,

Wearing suspenders,

Or thinking that cabbage is a fruit,

Than you are most likely,

A Suckish Losercorn,

Category: Idiot.

And The Popular:

Also pretty self-explanatory if you ever were enrolled in a middle school,

They are,

Snobby,

Prissy,

Think that they are better than everyone else,

Overly-obsessed with members of the opposite gender,

Only wear clothes that cost hundreds of dollars,

And hate Awesome Losercorns.

So there you have it.

Everyone is a Losercorn.

Which kind are you?

The Awesome Losercorn?

The Suckish Losercorn?

And if you are a Suckish Losercorn…

Are you The Idiot or The Popular?

If you are a Suckish Losercorn, why are you reading this anyway?

Comment and tell us.

You know you want to…

-The Losercorns
~~~~~~~~~~
OOOOOHHH!!!!! FLASHBACKS!!!!
-The Losercorns

LOSERDRAWING OF THE WEEK!!!!

April 25, 2010 - Leave a Response

Nya!
We have decided to, until we forget or don’t have the time, post at least one strange picture per week that was drawn by a Losercorn!!
This week: The Pineapple-Head Fish Duck!!!

Wootzle. Click to see the whole thing!
The name says it all… It is a fish… or a duck… with a pineapple on its head! Yepperoo, it is!
And they are telepathic!!! Oooh!!!! And they eat only… you guessed it! Pineapples!
Which is kind of weird because there is a pineapple on its head permanently… Your thoughts?
-The Losercorns

THE MONSTERUFFIN!!!!!

April 22, 2010 - One Response

Have you ever heard of a monsteruffin?

You know, the mutant monster muffin thing that feasts on mobile phones and only emerges from its magical hideout on Thursdays at 11:11?

We at Losercorns feel the overpowering duty to tell you about such creature!

There is no real need for you to know about the monsteruffin, as long as you are not a mobile phone, but as you simply MUST be an awesome person for finding this blog and therefor this particular informative post, so, well, you just should know!

A monsteruffin looks like a normal muffin.

Other than its striped fur, eyes, and random things sticking out from its head!!!

Any muffin you happen to see COULD be a monsteruffin in disguise!

You should ask said muffin if it is, or is not, a monsteruffin!

If it says yes, it is, in fact, a monsteruffin. We suggest cramming your phone in your mouth so that the monsteruffin cannot eat it. If you are lucky, you will eat it first! (Please note that phones taste MUCH better with some orange marmalade on top… Not that we would know, of course…)

If the muffin says no, than you should still be careful around it… Monsteruffins are notorious liars…

To help you visualize more accurately what a monsteruffin looks like, here is a rough sketch that this Losercorn made shortly after her last encounter with a monsteruffin! Her phone was never the same again…

You can click-y click on the image to see the whole thing!

Unfortunately, that is not the best drawing in the Losercorniverse…

We hope you get the point, though!

Watch out for those monsteruffins!!

-The Losercorns

We have added another Honorary Losercorn (que theme music) to our glorious midst!!!

April 10, 2010 - Leave a Response

Okay, so there have been a few requests for our 7th honorary losercorn…
(S)And, you all know that seven is the most magically powerful number IN THE WORLD!!!
If you did not know that, please get off this blog and stick your head in a toilet…
Anyways… the 7th Honorary Losercorn is… DA DA DA DA!!!

DOMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But you already guessed that…
Didn’t you???
Umm…

-The Losercorns